Friday, June 15, 2018

Being Furloughed then Terminated Sucks

On March 19th I was pulled in the bosses office with the news that I was being furloughed for two weeks because there was no work for me to do. The whole sales staff was placed on furlough because we had lost our investors, and there was no money to be had to buy supplies to sell to our customers. The hope was that they would get new investors soon, but until then they could not pay me. I was allowed to burn all the vacation I had left, which was a week and some change, and waited. Two weeks later, two more weeks. Two weeks later, another month. Blah Blah Blah. Fast-forward to May 31st I was officially terminated, and the company was selling off in pieces. After 11+ years of work, no severance package. Life definitely took a turn in a very weird direction.

Here are the results of my "fun" unemployment:

 I had just started a fun relationship about a month before I was furloughed. Both of our worlds exploded on the same week. I was looking for work and he was fixing his life. The whole thing took it's toll on the relationship and what started to be an amazing relationship slowly died to random texts a day, to nothing. Bad timing; or excellent timing. I will never know.

I have gained about 10lbs. You would be surprised how much you move during the average work day. I have become stale in my movement considering my office has gone from a huge warehouse to my tiny 924 sqft condo. Also, having all of my food less then 5ft from my new office desk, does not help. 

The cats are my new co-workers and they are tired of me being home. Before they could get away with climbing all over the kitchen and the table, bullying each other, and dragging my stuff all over the condo. Now all they here is me yelling at them to, "Get off!", "Drop that!", " Do not harass your brother while he is trying to use the liter box!". The plus side, my new co-workers are super cute and cuddly.

Tons more time to play video games and I have become an addict. It was so bad, my Mom suggested that if I am going to be up til 2am in the morning, maybe you could babysit your friends baby(he was just born on March 5th) while they slept. So, I took my Xbox 360 to their house and played video games while the baby slept. It got to the point where I figured out how to hold the baby and the controller at the same time. Eventually the Dad and roommate would stay up with me and we now have Halo nights. 

Minecraft has become an obsession. Seriously, how have I never played this game before? So much to explore, so much to mine, and so much to decorate!!! Currently removing the desert in front of my house. It's not going well with my vision.

I had created a list of things to do around the house back in March, and have plans to eventually do them. Being organized was one of them... All the items in my inventory on Minecraft are organized. Does that count?

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I Just Shouldn't

I recently, finally, acted on a decision I made back in April, one extremely drunken Wenesday night. I walked away from a friend because of feelings I knew would never be recipicated. It took so long for me to do it because, I thought I could just get over it. I dont do this "feeling" thing and normally
I can ignore it tell it goes away. Unfortunately, that line between love and hate was being crossed because of my confusion and unhappiness. I finally decide to end it and walk away, before I became bitter and started acting like a teenager.

All my friends were very proud and stated what I did wasvery healthy. All I could think about about was how much it sucked and that it hurt  beyond any pain from a stubbed toe. I had decided to keep myself incredibly busy. I made plans, and said yes to any that were made, by anyone. The problem is there were still moments when I had nothing to do, and got  dejected about the whole situation. 

I finally spoke to my Dad, while all emotional, that I couldn't shake this depressing feeling. What frustrates me even more, is my friend has most likely shrugged this off already. My father and I had a long talk and what it came down to is....

" I just shouldn't "

 No matters what I feel, it isn't going to change what has happened. My being emotional, is not going to effect anyone, but me.  Any negative emotion I hold onto, is only going to harm myself in the long run and I just shouldn't.

Easier said then done.

My father is a recovered acholic, and in AA meetings they would make him recite the 'Serenity Prayer'.

Whenever he felt there was something that he couldn't control, or things were getting too much, he would recite this prayer. He then told me when I find myself getting too emotional over this, just say,"I shouldn't" and recite this prayer.
So,here we go. I'm done with all this blahness. No matter, how I feel, the only person who has the power to change that is, myself.
Warrior Princess Mode: On
<3 Zerila

Friday, June 14, 2013

Life Is Getting Crazy

I have been crazy busy the last three days. I've helped a friend move out and I've been scheduling my dog, Jasmine, surgery. I have scheduled the surgery for tomorrow and until then I'm kinda sorta...freaking out a lot.
This will be a short and sweet blog and then I am off to bed. 

Here is Tuesday's picture

Wednesday so much happened I completely forgot to. Today I will bless you with two pictures, with a guest spot from my puppy Max. We were cuddling and watching Star Trek together.

Sweet Dreams.



Tuesday, June 11, 2013

So This Is Me

With this month challenge being to see myself as beautiful, I've decided that I need to get over seeing myself in pictures.

 So, each day I will have a someone take a picture of me. I will post it here on my blog and on my personal Facebook. I'm going to get over my issues... Eventually.

Here goes nothing.

My first picture, taken by my best friend after a birthday dinner. My hair is reacting to the crazy weather outside day today. 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

I am Fat and I am Beautiful

A friend of mine about a year ago inspired me to challenge myself to different challenges each month. They have been as simple as putting a thousand piece puzzle together (which I never did finish, I hate puzzles), not to lie for a month ( I now know how to not lie, but not exactly tell the truth), and another was writing a short romance story. Basically, whatever inspires me, I challenge myself.

 This month's challenge: 

To see myself as beautiful.

I was inspired by an article I found in Pinterest.

The article then linked to this article about fat girls and sex:

The idea that as a fat woman, I could be sexually attractive to the opposite sex, blew my mind. I've been told, by people I love, that the only reasoning I'm single is because I'm fat.  I have believed them for a very long time. 

Well... now I'm done. 

I'm beautiful.

How am I doing so far? 

Well... it's been incredibly challenging to say the least. I picked out an awesome outfit, did the my primping and stepped out feeling very excited this morning. At work and at the grocery store I walked with a swing in my step. I beamed at the extremely hot guy in the frozen food isle. Then, I meet up with this guy and all my bravado leaked out of my system. We all have that one guy that turns your brain to mush, and this is that one. 

This is going to take a lot of strength.

I'm beautiful.

I'm definitely taking steps in the right direction, but this is going to be a hard challenge. 

What do you guys do to bring out, dare I say it,your inner goddess?

<3. Zerila

Saturday, June 1, 2013

So... This is my life now

Wow... it's been awhile. I am now 31 years old...

God, I'm old.

 For the past year, I've been living in a small house with three roommates on the water. Yes, the water!
Prepare to be jealous of  my view!
It's ok, I'd be jealous too.
Unfortunately, do to circumstances beyond my control, I'm back at my parents house for a bit.
Right now, I'm not in a good place. I'm not happy, but I have a plan!
Plans are cool!
I'm going to keep myself SO incredibly busy that I barely even have time to think about what has happened.
What plans do you ask?
First, I'm in training with my best friend for the Ridiculous Obstacle Course(ROC) race.
What is the ROC race you ask?
This is the ROC race!

Doesn't that look awesome!!!!
Check out their website!
Granted, there is still no scheduled date for the Maryland area. I have hope that by the time they do, I will be ready!
We have already begun our training. I am up to walking 4 miles, 35 minutes on the elliptical and 2nd floor on the stair climber( what I like to personally call the "Stairway to Hell"). No, I do not do them in that order, that is where I'm with each one respectively.
Since, I assume, with training I will be losing weight, I've decided to keep a photo diary of my weight lose progress. This is mwah at 300 something lbs. (shh! My weight is SUPER secret! Don't tell anyone!)
These were taken in Alexandria, Virigina on an awesome weekend with my two best friends.

I hate getting my pictures taken. I do not like looking at the pictures because ... to be honest I do not like seeing how far I've let myself go. Getting my pictures taken on the other hand is a whole different story.
Anyway, every 10 pounds I'll add a photo.
It's late and I'm off to bed; in the basement where my parents put their ill-begotten child who moves back in with them at the age of 31.
<3 Zerila

Monday, December 26, 2011

Merry Christmas and Where Have You Been?

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!


Where have I been?

Computerless that is where I have been....

I do not have a computer and for awhile I did not have a smart phone.

Note to Self: Taking an IPhone for a swim is a BAD idea....

<.<      >.>

Yeah, I did that.

Now, my computer, which is about ten years old... died. That computer was my back-up computer.

Sooo.... I am currently on a friend's  computer typing this up very quickly. I'm thinking I will be doing Vlogs until I can get back up and running on a regular computer. Typing a blog on my Android is an interesting type of torture I'm not into.

I will post my first Vlog tomorrow and just remember these will raw and unedited.

OK, hope you are enjoying your Holidays!!!

Because I'm not.... I'm sick with a super cold and it looks like I will be getting just well enough to go back to work.... Here's hoping I will be back to my normal self .... I'm leaving for the Bahamas on Jan.1.

*crossing my fingers*

<3 Zerila