Journal With Me 9/19/20

 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Wood Background  Background Paper: Craft Smart, Cedar Lodge Paper Pad, Michaels

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Glue Stick: Five Below

The Facts in the Case of the Departure of Miss Finch: Discover Comics 2007 Dark Horse Manga

Color Pencils: Crayola 

Sharpies

Paper Line for the Date: Scrap Paper

Gold/White Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

Brown Paper: Scraps from Packaging

Extra Quality Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

Ivory Paper: Scrap from Yesterdays Project

Blue Paper with Gold Lines: Packaging from Shein

Raspberry Background: Packaging from the Dollar Tree

Yes Today is Going to be Great: Craft Smart, Cedar Lodge Paper Pad, Michaels

Compass Picture: Craft Smart, Cedar Lodge Paper Pad, Michaels

Forest Picture: Dollar Tree 

Heart Paper Doilies: Goodwill

Woman with Flowers:  Shein

Tree Picture: Cut out from Hunting Magazine

Gold/ Gray Washi Tape: Shein

Ivory paper with Lines: Scrap from yesterday's Horse PIcture

Yellow Leaf: Shein

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

Blog: zerilaslife.blogspot.com

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique 

Journal With Me 9/17/20

 Simple, but the horse is just too beautiful to take anything away from it.

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Brick Background Paper: Craft Smart, Cedar Lodge Paper Pad, Michaels

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Glue Stick: Five Below

Horse: imaginmorphia, An Extreme Coloring Book by Kerby Rosanes

Color Pencils: Crayola 

Sharpies

Gel Pencils from the Dollar Store

White & Gold Washi Tape: Wonton in a Million Washi Tape

Paper Line for the Date: Packaging from Shein 

Days of The Week: Walmart Sticker Book

To Do List & Daily Notes: Scrap Paper

Notes Sticker: Walmart Sticker Book

Folder Paper: Wreck it Journal, Today was fold a Paper Airplane, that was the airplane :)

Gold/White Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

Blog: zerilaslife.blogspot.com

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique 

Journal With Me 9/17/20

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Background Purple, White, Yellow, Blue & Black Paper: Old Wrapping Paper

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Glue Stick: Five Below

Couple Picture: Picture from an Ad book I'm cutting up

Thursday Sticker:  Walmart Sticker Book

Blue Heart Date Line: Walmart Sticker Book

White Paper: Scrap Paper

Days of The Week: Walmart Sticker Book

To Do List: Walmart Sticker Book

Notes Sticker: Walmart Sticker Book

Teapot, Tea Cup, Dessert, Donuts: Shein

New Comer Washi Tape: Joann Fabrics

Purple Brush Stroke Picture: Shein

Grid Paper: Sticker Packaging from Shein

Red & Yellow Sticker: Shein

Tulip Sticker: Shein

Ca(Representing Yoshi)t & Bunny Sticker: Shein 

Diamond White Paper: JOANN Fabrics, Name Cards

Purple Circles(on white paper): Dollar Store

White Stripe with Lettering: Shein Postcard Package

Dog Picture(Representing Max): Cut out from Dad's Magazine

Lock & Key Sticker: Shein

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

Blog: zerilaslife.blogspot.com

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

 

Journal With Me 9/16/20

 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Strawberry Paper: JOANN Fabrics 

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Child Hanging up Laundry: Picture from an Ad book I'm cutting up

Tuesday Sticker:  Wonton in a Million Monthly Stickers

Polka Dot Sticker: Wonton in a Million Monthly Stickers

Creme Paper: Scrap Paper

Glue Stick: Five Below

Days of The Week: Walmart Sticker Book

Lined Orange Sticker: Michaels Clearance

To Do List: Walmart Sticker Book

Pink Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

Tape Dispenser: Shein

Strawberry Paper: JOANN Fabrics, Left over from another day

Celebrate the Journey: Dollar Tree

Blue Grid Paper: Dollar Tree

Cat Picture(representing Yoshi): Packaging from a Shein Product

Cherry Blossom Stickers: Shein

Dog Sticker ( Representing Max): Shein

Brown Note Paper: Shein

Cherry Blossom Stickers: Shein

Flower in Jar: Shein

Cherry Blossom Stickers: Shein

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

Blog: zerilaslife.blogspot.com

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/15/20

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Blue Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Levi Jeans Ad: From an Advertisement book I'm cutting up 

Red Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

* Sticker: Walmart Sticker Book

Tuesday Sticker: Walmart Sticker Book

Lined Paper W/Red Border: Dollar Tree

Days of the Week Sticker: Walmart Sticker Book

To Do Sticker: Walmart Sticker Book

Cat Sticker (Representing Yoshi): Shein

To Do List Paper: Shein

White Paper: Back of Parking Pass Receipt

Butterfly Sticker: Shein

Dog Sticker(Representing Max): Shein

Good Vibes Sticker: Shein

Blue Washi Tape: Dollar Tree

Thin Blue Washi Tape: Shein

Red Washi Tape: Holly Lobby

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/14/20

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Strawberry Paper: JOANN Fabrics 

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Strawberry Glue Stick: Shein

Fairy Tale Pictures: Shein

Paper: I had it around the house

Noted Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

Daily Stickers: Walmart Sticker Book

Lined Paper Framed in Red: Dollar Tree

Red & White Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

Random Piece of Paper: Shein

Vintage Paper: Shein

Plant Sticker: Shein

Pink Hexagon Sheer Paper: Shein

Quote on Brown Paper: Packaging of an item I bought on Shein

Cat Sticker(Representing Yoshi: Shein

Black & White Flower Stickers: Shein

Dog Sticker ( Representing Max): Shein

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

Blog: zerilaslife.blogspot.com

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutqiue

 

Journal With Me 9/11/20

 

A very simple page, mainly because the art was just so beautifully simple. 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Pink Polka Dot Paper: JOANN Fabrics 

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Art Picture of two Ladies: An Art Catalog book that was given to me from an Art Gallery I used to       work at.

Pink Washi Tape: JOANN  Fabrics (Used to Sensor Picture, I don't feel comfortable showing naked ladies when minors may be watching my video, it is removed once the video is done)

Thin White Paper: Scraper Paper I found in the house.

Daily Information Stickers: Sticker Book From Walmart & Notepad from Michaels

Dumpling Sticker: Sticker Pack from Michaels

Paper With Blue Flower: Shein

Water Picture: Cut out from an Outdoor Magaize

Thin White Paper: Scraper Paper I found in the house.

Paris Sticker: Shein

Blue Sticker: Shein

" A rainbow..." saying : an old card I never used

Pink Washi Tape: Michaels

Sparkly Pink Ribbon: Dollar Store 

Scissors: From my Mom's craft Room :) 

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/10/20

 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

White & Yellow Plus Cross Paper: JOANN Fabrics 

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Glue Stick: Five Below

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Yellow Ivory Monk Picture: Picture from Advertisement Book I'm cutting up

Gold Sticker Line & Dots: Sticker Book From Walmart

To Do List: Shein

Remember Yellow Paper: JOANN FABRICS

Yellow Stained Glass Paper: Shein

Cat Paper(Represents Yoshi): Shein

Dog Sticker(Represents Max) : Shein

Wave Stamp Sticker: Shein

Lady W/Flwoers Sticker: Shein

Thin Gold Washi Tape: Ebay Washi Tape Haul

Tape Dispenser/Cutter: Shein

"You Had Me at Coffee" Sticker: Shein

Thin Gold & Black Washi Tape: Ebay Washi Tape Haul

Daily Stickers: Sticker Book From Walmart

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/9/20

 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Strawberry Paper Sheet: JOANN Fabrics 

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Strawberry Glue Stick: Shein

Shiny Green Washi Tape: Dollar Store

Tape Dispenser/Cutter: Shein

Days of the Week Sticker: Sticker Book From Walmart

White Paper Outlined in Red: Scrap Paper Outlined with Red Marker

Dog Picture: A Picture from One of My Dad's Hunting Magazines

To Do List: Shein

Cardboard Cutout: From a cardboard box I hat at home

Flower Petals: They are pieces that keep falling out of Flowers I have at    home from JOANN Fabrics

Foam Tape: Dollar Store

Gold Dot: Sticker Book From Walmart

Green Plant Sticker: Shein

Brown Plant Sticker: Shein

Background Sticker: Shein

Cherry Blossom Sticker: Shein

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Grid Paper w/ Green Ribbon: Dollar Store

Dog Sticker(Represents Max) : Shein

Field Picture: A cut out from an old Calendar

Lined Paper w/Red Border: Dollar Store

Lady in Green: Shein 

Pink Flower Sticker: Shein

Cactus Picture: Clipping from one of my Dad's Hunting Magazines

Cat Sticker(Represents Yoshi): Shein

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal

Blog: zerilaslife.blogspot.com

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/8/20

 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :) "Beautiful Girl You Can do Amazing Things": JOANN Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics Blue Pool Themed Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics Daily Info Stickers: Book of Stickers from Walmart White Paper With Blue Flower: Cut off Piece From The Background piece Thin Pink Washi Tape: Shein Grid Paper: Packaging from an Item I got on Shein White Paper on Top of Grid Paper: The Back of a Parking Pass Sunflower Sticker: Shein Cat Sticker(Represents Yoshi): Shein Flower Pot Lined Paper: Shein Pink Flower Sticker: Shein Gold Striped Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics Airplane Sticker: Shein Pink Highlighter: A really HOT guy from work gave it to me... if he reads this... when are we going to have lunch together? **He won't** Dog Sticker(Represents Max) : Shein Where to find me: Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslifejournal Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/ Tiktok: @zerilaslofejournal Blog: zerilaslife.blogspot.com My eBay Store: https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/7/20

 Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

White Paper w/ Black Bows, & Gold Polka Dots: JOANN Fabrics, Park Lane     Paperie: Planner Girl  

Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics

Red Glue Tape Dispenser: JOANN Fabrics

Cat Legs: Yoshi he wanted attention

Pop-Dot Adhesives: Dollar Store

Red Glitter Washi Tape: Dollar Store

Washi Tape Dispenser: Shein

Coca-Cola Bottle Picture: Advertisement book I’m cutting up

Zebra Pictures: Dad's Hunting/Outdoor Magazines

Strawberry Glue Stick: Shein 

Coca-Cola Lady Picture: Advertisement book I’m cutting up

Lined Paper Framed in Red: Dollar Tree

Stamper: Shein

Sylvia Weinstock: Label from jewelry I bought from Goodwill

Daily Info Stickers: Book of Stickers from Walmart

Letter Stickers: Book of Stickers from Walmart

Thin Black Glitter Washi Tape: Dollar Tree

Red Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics

Dog Sticker(Represents Max) : Shein

Flower Sticker: Shein

To Do List Paper: Shein

Cat Sticker(Represents Yoshi): Shein

Rose Sticker: Shein

White Pink Lined Paper: JOANN Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl

Gold Lined White Paper: JOANN Fabrics 

Blue Ribbon Sticker: Dollar Tree

Exclamation Sticker: Shein 

Red Sticker on Upright hand corner of Paper: Shein

Where to find me:

Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslife

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/

Tiktok: @zerilaslife

My eBay Store:

https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/6/20

 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :) Blue w/ Gold Hearts JOANN Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Fiskars Paper-cutter: JOANN Fabrics Lavender Scent: I'm not sure, it's been in my house for so long Gold Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics Picture of Woman & Man Dancing: Piece from an Advertisement book I’m cutting up. Daily Info Stickers: Book of Stickers from Walmart Strawberry Glue Stick: Shein Blue Polka Dot Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics White Pink Lined Paper: JOANN Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Gold Lined White Paper: JOANN Fabrics Blue Ribbon Sticker: Dollar Tree Cat Sticker(Represents Yoshi): Shein Dog Sticker(Represents Max) : Shein Teapot Sticker: Shein Blue Striped Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics Stripped Ribbon Sticker: Walmart Sticker Book Let me know if you have any questions :) Where to find me: Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslife Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila Tiktok: @zerilaslife My eBay Store: https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Journal With Me 9/5/20

 

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Blue w/ Floral Background: JOANN Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Set Daily Info Stickers: Book of Stickers from Walmart Gold Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics Arrow Collars & Shirts Picture: Piece from an Advertisement book I’m cutting up. Strawberry Glue Stick: Shein Striped Pink Washi Tape: JOANN Fabrics Washi Tape Dispenser/Holder: Shein Dog Sticker(Represents Max) : Shein Blank Piece of Paper: Scrap from an old Card I never used Picture of Lady Legs in Stockings: From old Advertisement Book Piece of Paper With Writing on it: Shein Fox: A clipping from my Dad's Hunting Magazines Smaller Blank Piece of Paper: Scrap from an old Card I never used Black & White Flower Sticker: Shein Clover Sticker: Shein Black Pen: Walmart Cat Sticker(Represents Yoshi): Shein Gold Line Sticker: Book of Stickers from Walmart Gold Washi Tape w/ Polk Dots: JOANN Fabrics Gold Washi Tape: JOANN FABRICS Ivory Soap Adds: From old Advertisement Book Picture of dog in front of fire: a clipping from my Dad's Hunting Magazines Let me know if you have any questions :) Where to find me: Instragram: http://instagram.com/zerilaslife Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/zerila/_saved/ Tiktok: @zerilaslife My eBay Store: https://www.ebay.com/str/zerilaslifeboutique

Daily Scrapbook Journal 9/4/20

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Crafters Tape: Walmart

Fiskars Paper-cutter: Joanne Fabrics

Black Pen: Walmart

Floral W/Black & White Striped Paper:  Joanna Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Set

Pink Striped Washi Tape: Joann Fabrics

Gold Washi Tape: Joanne Gabrics

Thin Black Glitter Washi Tape: Dollar Store

Love Love Love Line Sticker: Book of Stickers from Walmart

Lady & Man Dancing Picture - Piece from an Advertisement book I’m cutting up.

Cat Stickers(Represents Yoshi in my Life): Shein

Dog Sticker(Represents Max: Shrin

Daily Information Stickers, : Walmart Sticker Books.

Cherry Tree Sticker: Shein

Cream Paper : Scrap

Pink Paper: Joanne Fabrics

Gold Stamp on Pink Paper: Packaging from an item ordered on Shein

Pink Stickers: Shein

Daily Scrapbook Journal 9/3/20

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Crafters Tape: Walmart

White & Gold Name Cards: Clearance @ Joanne Fabrics

Fiskars Paper-cutter: Joanne Fabrics

Black Pen: Walmart

Pink Polka Dot Background & World Bubble:  Joanna Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Set

Gold Women Washi Tape: Shein

Cat Stickers(Represents Yoshi in my Life): Shein

Dog Sticker(Represents Max: Shrin

Daily Information Stickers, : Walmart Sticker Books.

Lace - Bundle from Thrift Store

Lady Walking Her Dog- Pieces from an Advertisement book I’m cutting up.

Pink Washi Tape "Censoring " Lady Walking Her Dog Picture: Joann Fabrics

Cardboard Background: From a random box

Black Drawn Flower Sticker: Shein

Lined Paper , W/Flower Pot: Shein

Flower Stickers: Shein

Brown Paper W/Gold Letter: Packaging of an item From Shein

"Life itself is a wonder..." Sticker: Shein

Daily Scrapbook Journal 9/2/20

Items Used:

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Crafters Tape: Walmart

White & Gold Name Cards: Clearance @ Joanne Fabrics

Fiskars Paper-cutter: Joanne Fabrics

Black Pen: Walmart

White, Gold & Black Bowl Background:  Joanna Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Set

Gold Washi Tape: Joanne Fabrics

Cat Stickers: Shein

Daily Information Stickers, Gold Dot Sticker, Love Pink Line & Rose Ribbon Sticker: Walmart Sticker Books.

Lace - Bundle from Thrift Store

Lady Looking in Mirror & Man in Tux- Pieces from an Advertisement book I’m cutting up.

Flower: A Piece That fell off some fake flowers I bought from Joann Fabrics

Paper next to Tux Man: Random Scrap Paper

 

Daily Scrapbook Journal : September 1, 2020

Items Used:

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

Crafters Tape: Walmart

White & Gold Name Cards: Clearance @ Joanne Fabrics

White & Gold Labels: Dollar Tree

Fiskars Paper-cutter: Joanne Fabrics

Black Pen: Walmart

Take Note Paper & Pink & Blue Floral Background:  Joanna Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Set

Silver & Blue Washi Tape: Joanne Fabrics

Cloud Grid Paper  Note card: Dollar Tree

Cat Stickers: Shein

Stickers from a Packet: Walmart

Tied Dyed Green Paper - Paperpacket from Joan Fabrics

Black & White Picture with Purple Paper Background- Pieces from an Advertisement book I’m cutting up.

Scrapbook Journal Weekly Spread Tokidoki Theme

Weekly Overview: August 31 thru September 6, 2020

Items Used:

Journal - Santa Gave it to Me :)

My Fake Nails: Shein

Tokidoki Origami Paper: Joanne Fabrics; Amazon for $9.95

Crafters Tape: Walmart Metal Cutter: Dollar Tree

Blue Pen: Walmart

White & Gold Name Cards: Clearance @ Joanne Fabrics Purple Pen, Grape: Dollar Tree

White & Gold Sticker Labels: Dollar Tree

Weekly Planner Paper: Bought @ A.C. Moore Fiskars Paper-cutter: Joanne Fabrics Pink Pencil Bag: Ipsy Bag Black Pen: Walmart

Heart Grid Paper: Joanna Fabrics, Park Lane Paperie: Planner Girl Set

Thin Black Sparkly Washi Tape: Dollar Tree Tweezers: Sephora (you use what you have on hand ;) Pink Scissors: Dollar Tree The Best, Cherry Note card: Dollar Tree

Pink Strawberry Pen: Dollar Tree

Heart Paper Clip: Dollar Tree Cat Stickers: Shein Strawberry Stickers: Shein Sticker Packet: Walmart Gold Marker: Dollar Tree Silver Marker: Dollar Tree

 

Let me know if you have questions.

My 100 Day Challenge

Another item on my list is to fit into my mother's wedding dress, a size 10. I have a lot of weight to lose, so this will be a couple years long journey. I am willing to accept that. What I must accept is that it needs to start now. So, I have to decided to start with a 100 day challenge of going to the gym everyday.

The rules are simple, go to the gym everyday. If I can not go the gym (weather or life) I must either do a work of video, or at home gym equipment. For instances, today I couldn't make it home in time, because I spent all day with my Mom. They own free weights, and a bike; so I worked out with their at home equipment.

Each day I will post a video on my Instagram account. I need this because, I need some sort of accountability. I'm still unemployed, and I'm really close to the edge of just letting everything go. We will go on this journey together!

Photo by Анна Рыжкова from Pexels

Queen

Queen

Photo by Scarlet Ellis on Unsplash

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
I don't want to do it

But, I know I have to get thru it
There be nothing but pain
and everything to gain

I breath in deep
drop to my knees
and let lose the reins

1...2...

God, please me, I don't know what to do

3...4...

The tears begin to pour

5...6...

I  scream  "FUCK this shit!"

7...8...

My world begins to disintegrate

9

Breath

10

Breath

Done!

I stand up, roll up my sleeves, and straighten my crown

'cause that's how a Queens got to be.

---------------------------

A friend from my old job liked to rap, and wanted me to try free style. I'm as white as can be, and could not find a rhythm, so I wrote this poem.

I was inspired by many ideas. In the show Lost, Jack Shepard would allow himself 10 seconds of freak out, then he would move on. I also read a lot of Phillipa Gregory books. In those books being Queen never meant your life was easy of safe. I could never understand how they survived everything that happened to them, but they did, for a time. They just had to straighten their crowns and move on.

So with everything that happened with my Mom, and having to just stand their and watch, not being able to do anything, was  hard. The release of stress and pain came at the most awkward times. One moment I would be fine and the next in tears. So, I started to give my self to the count of 10. Let everything out, but the second I hit 10, I would have to move on.

That is what this poem is about. I can't allow any of my pain to rule me. I am Queen here.